In this episode, Rachel & Mandi reflect on their words and letters to their 2022 selves, what they manifested, and their experiences. They also share their 2023 words, story updates, and how to show up in a way that impacts your world. We all have desires and dreams of what we want for our future selves, and this is the time to write a letter and choose a word that aligns with your desire to manifest.
-[06:53] Our hosts share their thoughts and feelings on their Letter to January 2022 selves.
-[14:13] Mandi continues the discussion of being in survival mode, proving you’re somebody, and how a family member's hike in Peru tied to the the ongoing saga of Pico the Hawk!
-[22:15] Rachel gives an update on her animal guide meditation story and creates a point of emphasis in her Letter to Self 2023......Rest!
-[30:36] Mandi talks about the emotions of writing the letter to her January 2022 self, the revelation and clarity created during the process, and living up to her Word for 2022....Elevate.
-[37:07] The Duo analyzes the topic of Self-care: Being mindful of what you consume, post and share......" Not Everyone deserves access and intimacy". The SYG hosts suggest "Showing up for YOURSELF and being an example in your own life."
-[46:14] Our hosts illuminate the process of learning how to be quiet, observe and detach, and the importance of spiritual hygiene. Audience Dislcaimer: "Be careful of what you ask for because you might just get it".
-[51:08] Simple, Faith, Magnet.....The Spill Your Guts team discuss the thought process of coming up with their Words of 2023 and evaluate their internal process to stay true to oneself in the endeavor.
Additional Notable Quotes
"We’re here to be human, and we all crash and burn in our own ways to raise"
"Audit your circle, keep it small, and don’t be afraid to let thing end and go."
"Listen more and speak less."
"The only way to impact and show up is to do the work in your life."
"The only way to become somebody is to become nobody; we’re all equal."
"Someone who lets emotions run the show doesn’t have clarity or time for anything, can’t see beyond that, and there is another world out here."
"Spiritual hygiene and discipline are important, the quiet time, journaling, music, and whatever it is that fills your soul."
Want a podcast like the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast? Look no further! I'm Jpaddy from Paddybandwagon.com, your podcasting partner. DM or comment "blessed" on our Instagram @paddybandwagon, and you'll unlock a special offer exclusively for fans of the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast. Together, we'll embark on a podcasting journey that will captivate and engage your listeners. Visit Paddybandwagon.com and let's make your podcast dreams a reality.
In this episode, Rachel & Mandi reflect on their words and letters to their 2022 selves, what they manifested, and their experiences. They also share their 2023 words, story updates, and how to show up in a way that impacts your world. We all have desires and dreams of what we want for our future selves, and this is the time to write a letter and choose a word that aligns with your desire to manifest.
-[06:53] Our hosts share their thoughts and feelings on their Letter to January 2022 selves.
-[14:13] Mandi continues the discussion of being in survival mode, proving you’re somebody, and how a family member's hike in Peru tied to the the ongoing saga of Pico the Hawk!
-[22:15] Rachel gives an update on her animal guide meditation story and creates a point of emphasis in her Letter to Self 2023......Rest!
-[30:36] Mandi talks about the emotions of writing the letter to her January 2022 self, the revelation and clarity created during the process, and living up to her Word for 2022....Elevate.
-[37:07] The Duo analyzes the topic of Self-care: Being mindful of what you consume, post and share......" Not Everyone deserves access and intimacy". The SYG hosts suggest "Showing up for YOURSELF and being an example in your own life."
-[46:14] Our hosts illuminate the process of learning how to be quiet, observe and detach, and the importance of spiritual hygiene. Audience Dislcaimer: "Be careful of what you ask for because you might just get it".
-[51:08] Simple, Faith, Magnet.....The Spill Your Guts team discuss the thought process of coming up with their Words of 2023 and evaluate their internal process to stay true to oneself in the endeavor.
Additional Notable Quotes
"We’re here to be human, and we all crash and burn in our own ways to raise"
"Audit your circle, keep it small, and don’t be afraid to let thing end and go."
"Listen more and speak less."
"The only way to impact and show up is to do the work in your life."
"The only way to become somebody is to become nobody; we’re all equal."
"Someone who lets emotions run the show doesn’t have clarity or time for anything, can’t see beyond that, and there is another world out here."
"Spiritual hygiene and discipline are important, the quiet time, journaling, music, and whatever it is that fills your soul."
Want a podcast like the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast? Look no further! I'm Jpaddy from Paddybandwagon.com, your podcasting partner. DM or comment "blessed" on our Instagram @paddybandwagon, and you'll unlock a special offer exclusively for fans of the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast. Together, we'll embark on a podcasting journey that will captivate and engage your listeners. Visit Paddybandwagon.com and let's make your podcast dreams a reality.
There it is, spillier guts pod. What was I gonna say? Start?
Speaker 2:over.
Speaker 1:Spillier guts pod cast. I'm Mandy Holden and you are Rachel Dawn Prairie, and this is Spillier guts. Hello, welcome back.
Speaker 2:Hello, i missed you.
Speaker 1:Bienvenido, hello from the other side.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, i cannot get enough of Adele this week.
Speaker 1:Dude, it has to be said. It has to be said First off. Adele, yes, but it has to be said. I'm not sure when, eventually, our peeps will get to hear this, but this week is the week that everybody's rolling out with their other top music and their top podcasts and we're out here getting tagged.
Speaker 2:I have never felt more famous than I have this week. It's just so funny because everyone's like stop posting your stupid fucking Spotify.
Speaker 1:I actually love it. I'm such a nerd for it. I'm like I do too.
Speaker 1:Right, i feel like it's so special. I even wrote a little thing on my Insta on my story about how it's, like it is very intimate to look into people's lives and see what they're listening to. It is like I am one of those people that music is like holy, you know, like it carries you. I think I shared last week when we were talking that I do my my own personal because I'm old and I don't listen to Spotify because I'm not cool. I'm sorry. No, hate Spotify or whatever There goes our, where everyone listens, that's who will they listen on other ones too but Spotify is the most popular one.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, thank you, spotify, i don't want to lose a freaking another. There goes another endorsement Amber Cromby, janet.
Speaker 3:Jackson.
Speaker 1:Spotify, damn it. Okay, well, i wasn't throwing shade to Spotify. I was just saying I'm not cool enough and I'm like you know, i use Apple, i'm sorry, So I make my own and I feel very like I'm curating something like a like a you know documentary film on my life.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You know, and so far it's just like all Harry Styles. So I'm just kidding, it's not, but there's a lot. But I feel like it's so fun seeing everybody share their stuff and, like you, kind of get to know people a little bit. Even though they're trying not to, they are.
Speaker 2:I think it's fun, i like it And plus I'm obsessed with finding new music and new artists. Yes, i literally. If it's someone I'm like, okay, i would trust this person with like a movie or like a book recommendation, then I've been looking up the artists. If I don't know them, so I like it, but I also listen to an obscene amount of music.
Speaker 1:I didn't know Girl, i saw it. You had like what 36 hours, or what was it.
Speaker 2:I've been like in the top 90, like per, like a very, very heavy music listener, but it's because, to like, i travel so much, right, and I have it on, or I work from home and I just have music on all day in the background, or so are you going to share?
Speaker 1:Are you going to share your like tops?
Speaker 2:I don't know how to get back to the thing, but I do know because I'm 40.
Speaker 1:We're so mates. If you could guess what do you think it would be? your like top your top artist. Give me just your like your top artist.
Speaker 2:I was actually surprised and I don't know if I agree with this. I think he's just on a bunch of my lists and so it shook out that way. but it was Drake again. But I have like completely, i have like what did it say? I like I'm all over the place with my music, but I'm very much like the genre that they called it, which I was like what the fuck is that genre? It was, um, it wasn't country, it was like that new country, like full poetry country or something weird like that.
Speaker 2:I was like what It? just say what it is. But I also am like no, i don't listen to country. So when it said that, i was like yes, that's what it is.
Speaker 1:You're like, um, i'm not country, but Americana. Well, listen, i don't usually listen to country either, but the truth is, ever since we got back from Arkansas- Yes. I've been in a chokehold girl. I can't stop.
Speaker 2:I can't. I've been bluegrass, i've been Americana, whatever that, and the person that I'm dating also loves country.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. What? I'm just trying to slip something in there.
Speaker 2:Damn it.
Speaker 1:And okay, keep going, hurry. Nobody heard it.
Speaker 2:I know, Hurry, It's just like in my, in my space, but it was Drake and I was like bomb Cause I'm like that's not accurate.
Speaker 1:Maybe he's just on my but listen, he had two albums. He had two albums this year. Makes sense, obviously, beyonce's album Supreme alien superstar, so good. Beyonce was on my top five and like all I listened to, like the first half of the year was Harry. I'm sorry, it was like a new discovery and he's brilliant and gorgeous and beautiful.
Speaker 2:Oh, and Russ. I don't know if people know him, but that's another artist I really like He was in my top three, Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, there you have it, And so it it also here. We are right That we, our little podcast here, has landed on some of our friends top lists for listening, and so we just wanted to say thank you and we felt really famous and cute, so cute. My favorite was our, our, our home. I don't want to throw her name out, but you know who you are out there, she's a homie. She had us on her list of podcasts and, like all the other podcasts, were like super gloomy and like serial killer, dark mystery. It's like Spill Your Gets, and I was like that is why I love her. Dude, that is it right there, let's. That's called balance. Yes, all right. So we got it out of the way that we are Spotify famous, even though I've apparently offended Spotify. So that's fine. But last week we we ended our talk with sharing Rachel making me get uncomfortable per use but we shared our letters to our January 2022 selves. And how are we feeling since then?
Speaker 2:I, i feel good. You know what it was. I didn't want to like slip into this thing because we like think we since like we've no success, as bullshit. I like didn't want to slip into this thing. Like look at all my accomplishments right. Because I'm like very adamant and this is part of what we're going to talk about today of like I don't want to be somebody.
Speaker 2:I don't know I don't know how else to put it Like I just I'm not interested, like I'm already somebody, and so even some of that I was just kind of like I don't know. That was just like a bunch of stuff that I did, and so when I thought about what we're going to talk about today, i tried to, like, dig a little bit deeper. Nice.
Speaker 1:I would say that, uh, i, we've been having this conversation, this like concept of, like this, trying to be someone out in the world And like what that means, because it's such a catch 22,. Like, of course, we all want to like accomplish an experience and, you know, step into our gifts and our you know callings or whatever, but it's like so tainted, right When it's like wrapped up in like you know, income and status and all that stuff. And I feel like that's hard for people who are creative, you know, because every time you fall in love with something and you want to like share it and just like see it blow up and like get excited about it, and then it like always turns into something else And like, how do you, how do you like, you know, make peace with that? I don't know. That's been a conversation we've been having. So, you know, i, you know I'm with you on that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, that's what too. Some of the stuff when, when I missed the Marcy podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks a lot. I'm still recovering.
Speaker 2:I really like kept hearing her say that like Hey, we're like, we're just here to be human, so like shut up.
Speaker 1:Also quick little shout out to Marcy and our our own beautiful J patty over here. Marcy will be starting her own podcast, which is launching. You want to give a little little shout out, jesse?
Speaker 3:Oh, you want me to do that on your show, yeah.
Speaker 1:Of course we do. We're not friggin, we're not fame whores over here, come on On Spotify. Yeah, of course we want to give a little shout out It's we're, and also to you for your expanding, your producing world And we're very proud of you.
Speaker 3:So if you like this podcast, you might like the wild sage society podcast. It'll be both on Spotify.
Speaker 1:Yes, it'll be on Spotify with all the other ones for all you and all the other ones, just like this podcast.
Speaker 3:You can listen to it on our radio. All platforms All lovely. But yeah, manny here, she's the one who linked me up with Marcy and it's been a little bit of a bully, she told me.
Speaker 1:But yeah, if you're interested in Marcy's style and obviously, like I did, we couldn't have her here long enough to even dig into like the 12 things she brought to the table- and well, yeah, she broke you down pretty quick, So I don't know. I try not to hang out with her too often actually. I feel your pain, But so so you, you listen to that episode and I totally cut you off. What were you saying?
Speaker 2:I just like that seemed to be a common thread, especially like man. I loved when she talked about how we all have to crash and burn in our own way, and that looks different on everybody. Like it could be health, it could be a relationship, it could be finances, but like everyone has to like crash and burn in order in order to rise, and so that was just like. When I look back at kind of like how we did for 2022, like, even if I look back at the last five, 10 years, i can see these moments where I was like brought to my knees and had to like really rebuild And that is what we're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1:That's what it is, and isn't it tough, like the realization I guess it's maturity of realizing that that doesn't just happen once, right? Yes, it's like continual death and rebirth on repeat, forever and ever. Amen, that is the human experience. And it's like grueling and daunting and like seems so unfair Sometimes, you know.
Speaker 2:It's so wild, especially like how I don't know how kind of how I think about death, or like kind of re-framed it in the last few years and I was, oh, this is gonna sound probably more bad to people about deaths. Like that sounds easy, Like bye, Like there's no, you know what I mean. Like it's the final there's no. Well, we don't know It's your tattoo. This all ends, it's all ends.
Speaker 1:So of course, i'm gonna die and be reborn a million times in this lifetime, because that's what creation is Well and we're just so like arrogant and like not, we like you and I, but we, I mean you know, there, we, we have our moments like everyone on Spotify.
Speaker 1:But as like a species right, like we just get so distracted and like caught up and all the stuff I actually I was telling you I found out somebody who I knew from many lifetimes ago, who is my same age, who we've stayed connected like on Facebook for many years.
Speaker 1:I found out she passed away unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago and like she's been married the same amount of time as I have been married. It has the same age kids and it literally has kind of just been heavy on my mind, in my heart, the past couple of weeks, because it's one of those sobering things, like you just don't know right How much time and like how silly to be, like I'll speak for myself here, but like so silly to be like just keeping myself in a loop of like feeling like things aren't fair and feeling sorry for myself and like oh, i know better, and like, but you get stuck in that stuff when you feel like you're getting beat up And it's just like what you just said. It's like it's because you are supposed to get beat up so that you can dig deep and rise again and learn another layer of yourself and see another part of yourself that is strong, that you had no idea could do a thing you know, and you just can't do it any other way except through pain.
Speaker 2:And that's where, like I get, where I like have beef sometimes, like we talk about, like I get pissed about how we're living because I even think about what would it look like in a world where, like, we aren't just trying to survive, like the most of us, like we're just trying to pay bills, we're just trying to like, like survive. If we all had some of that lifted, what kind of shit could we create? Like I think about that all the time, like if we all weren't just maxed out, stressed in survival mode all the time, like we could really solve some problems, like we could really sit and face ourselves. But then it's like we have to be in survival and then also go through hard things, and then also it's just like it's too much.
Speaker 1:It's too many things, well, and it's like and we're told that that it goes back to the success thing we talked about like very early on, like it goes back to then. We feel like we have to do it to prove, like you have to reach these like milestone levels where you're like, see, see, i've, i'm not a screw up, i've done this and this and I've reached this milestone and I'm somebody right. And then you become self-aware and you have a spiritual awakening and you're like none of this matters.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be anybody.
Speaker 1:I hate it here.
Speaker 2:Let me off this thing. Then you think you're an alien and you just keep waiting for your ride to show up, and they never fucking do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like Mandy just pay your bills. Okay, it's not that deep dog. Like you got magic happening. You literally had a falcon following you around for two weeks Which, oh my god bitch, i forgot. Okay, yeah, we need a falcon update Wait live.
Speaker 1:This is a live action. This was not planned. It's nothing's ever planned here. I'm sorry. Jesse knows This is a live action. Falcon update okay, and actually it's gonna. It's gonna have a twist because it's now what you think. It didn't land on my arm. In fact, pico my I did name him is no longer in the factory. He went back to the wild.
Speaker 3:Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Speaker 1:Well, i feel like it's probably best. But I'm also kind of sad, right, yeah, i will be. I'm also kind of sad. He ate all the pigeons. He hunted them all. They're all gone, which is great. It's really probably more sanitary for my day to day. You know he got some free meals Population control but Pico has has fled. I didn't know when he left, i didn't even get to say goodbye. Really, i'm kind of sad. But here's the update. This is what's weird. See, now you're on, you're listening to us, you're talk about woo-woo stuff all the time. Are you ready to freak out? because I have not told Rachel this story in real life? So my sister who, um, so my sister it works like in forestry and stuff. So she has like really heavy seasons of work and then she has like like these month pockets where she's off, because when she's working out in the field she's like out there in the woods. Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay so she, um, and she lives with us because when she's, you know, she's not really home a whole lot because she lives out in the woods. So she was saving for like a year and decided during this month break in between forestry jobs that she was gonna go. She's a bad bitch, okay, she went to Peru and hiked Machu Picchu by herself. She went to Peru alone, which she actually hikes and stuff for a living, like she's like an outdoor person. So she, like you know, she did it. She did it all the right way. Um, she had like guides and like different things. Like she went, like she met people there but like went alone and like had this, like you know, walk about, like spiritual experience, like did all this crazy stuff. And when she came home last week or the week before, i forget, she brought me.
Speaker 1:Okay, she went on this like big ass hike. There's like all this stuff up there. You guys know, like Peru is like very spiritual, like there's a lot of shaman stuff that goes on there there's, like you know, and Machu Picchu itself's like super. You know, i told her to bring me back a stone. I'm like find me a little pebble, find me a rock, find me something. I mean like make sure it's not illegal, like you can't just be like taking stuff, right, um, but she went on this, this hike that was guided, and asked them if she could like permission to take something, is it okay? and they're like yeah, and so they, you know, taught her and the other people she was with, all this stuff about like how to basically they got to break off and like spend some time alone before it was time to hike back down to their camp and they had to. She, they showed her like this way to say thank you and like all the directions, like the north, the, the south, the west, the east, because that's really big in like their, their belief system. And so, anyway, she was like she went through all these things to like make sure she was like respectfully showing up in the right energy and respecting the land and saying thank you and was like okay, you know, if, if there's a, if there's a rock here I could take for my sister, like, just let me know which one.
Speaker 1:So she says she spends some time looking and she finds me this little rock and it's a white slate, granite, it's just this little piece of, and she looked it up so she knew, so I, she knew I would be geeking out on it and be finding out all the like weird meanings of it, right, and she goes and and and she's home from Peru, right? so she's just telling us all these stories and debriefing about her trip. She doesn't know anything, she just she wasn't my podcast, you know, but she's, she has me this rock, she's telling me this story. She's like I knew this was your rock because I just like I held it up to my heart and I it just felt right. And I looked up and there was this huge Falcon, what swear. She took a picture of it. I will send it so that we could post it when we post this episode.
Speaker 1:I literally was like stop, oh my god, it was a Peruvian Falcon. This Falcon was black and huge. It was much bigger than the the Falcon in my factory. But she said I knew it was yours because I looked over and it was just like standing there and it was just a while. And she was like, okay, thank you, bye. And. And she's like, yeah, and she didn't think anything of it and I was like, dude, you have no idea, i was like when you were in Peru hanging out with Falcons. I had this other whole Falcon story like Falcon quest whoa is that crazy I can't believe I haven't told you that.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, so I have this and and of course, the like white slate, granite, the energy properties are all about like abundance and like all these, all these themes, right, like personal power and all that stuff. It's like the same energy as, like the falcon spirit. It was just so weird. I'm just like you can't make this stuff up. She's like, yeah, i just had to figure out what kind of bird it was because it was just so big and random. And she's like, yeah, it was a Falcon and I was like no way. So there you have it wow, of course.
Speaker 2:So, pico, wherever you are, my animal guide story in a minute with shaman larry. Yes, okay, yes, this is what.
Speaker 1:Yes, i want to hear these updates well, i hear I'll kick that.
Speaker 2:So we um We for this episode, we were gonna write a letter to our future selves, but it was more just like the ideas of it. So I like jotted some things down, but the first thing that came to my mind was like a message that I received during a retreat that I did with Ariel motivational madness up in Sandy, utah. God was that last week, i don't even know anymore. I think it December is tomorrow. I don't know what this will air, but what the fuck Like it's. Just you know. But we had it was like it was a one day retreat which was a whole lot of fun. That is like we knew we're going to talk about that because that works, like it was sustainable for everyone.
Speaker 1:Everyone left energized and like not exhausted, including myself And it's more accessible to people to maybe cut away for a day.
Speaker 2:Everyone. I mean it was open to everyone.
Speaker 1:But that's dope.
Speaker 2:And the attendees were all moms and their feedback was like no way, Like they could not go travel somewhere for a couple of days, take up work, leave kids, all of that.
Speaker 1:So like they were stoked that, oh, that's so cool, yeah, so it was awesome.
Speaker 2:But we had Shaman Larry, who reminded me a lot of Al, our other lovely spiritual friend from Sedona, and he does all sorts of wild things I've never even heard of. So of course I was like tell me everything.
Speaker 1:Rachel's. Like, I'm going to Google this immediately. Make sure you're legit.
Speaker 2:He was the coolest.
Speaker 1:That's awesome.
Speaker 2:He ran a Shaman journey for more like I don't have the right words for it, but essentially like took you on a quest to find your animal guide.
Speaker 1:Oh is it like a guided meditation. Yeah, yeah, oh, that's cool. Oh my gosh Okay.
Speaker 2:So I had drums and they did a whole bunch You know how I love the drumming and like all these other things and his beautiful partner Linda sang and like it was sick. So I was trying to like not overthink this and like really just let. As soon as he started talking about that I was thinking about all the animals I was like, ooh, i bet it's going to be this.
Speaker 1:I know you can't choose one. You're like snow white in real life. Please tell me it was a thumbelina.
Speaker 2:Oh well, wait, it gets so of course. Oh no, oh my God, okay, okay. So I was on my little journey and it turned out mine was a wolf, which I did not expect, and every single woman in there except for one also thought saw a wolf, which is kind of for woo people, that's calm. It's like a common thread, like we think, like we're suddenly like psychic together I don't know how to explain that. Like we've seen that happen at the point and I'm like, out of all of the animals, really we all thought wolf like how many animals are there in the world, right?
Speaker 1:So reluctant pilgrim. I know I was just like fuck this shit, None of this is real, But like not one person not one of you thought planopas, not one.
Speaker 2:I was like so literally anything. Art bark, Anyone, Come on Have dairy. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like.
Speaker 1:I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm, like I was like so literally anything anybody. Come on, how dare you so basic? I'm just kidding. Oh, my god, wolf is like the primal, like leader, alpha of all. I love it Okay.
Speaker 2:So I was like and, but I was almost like a little reluctant pilgrim when I was thinking this, because I literally was like really a fucking wolf, like could we be anymore? Like I don't know, i don't know, like I was annoyed at myself. But the wolf was like. It was small and it was gentle and friendly And we laid down in this big field together And I put my head on it and we just like snuggled up and you're supposed to ask like are you my spirit guide? And so I did and it said no. It said I'm Soka, my dog that has passed away. And what's funny is like I already my whole like time with Soka. I called her a soulmate, like really and truly. Yes, oh my gosh, i know it was wild, but then I realized we were laying in the exact position that her and I like when we would have deep, snuggly sun naps, like we love to, like lay in the sun together. This was the exact position. I didn't even think about it because it was a wolf, so I didn't like associate it.
Speaker 2:I was like holy shit, this is our exact.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that's so special.
Speaker 2:Like sleepy time position And then so you're supposed to ask. And then you were supposed to ask like, does it have, do you have a message for me? And her message was I want you to rest Like you need deep rest.
Speaker 1:Rachel.
Speaker 2:I know, i know. So I was freaking out, dude, i I never like cry or anything. I retweet. Maybe I have like a couple tears or like if you get emotional then I cry, but I'm, i'm an eight, we don't walk around crying. Okay, i was a Marcy, where are you? I was a total mess. I was do like ugly crying in this circle, which, strangely enough, and I hadn't even like debriefed the area about this either. But after that it then everyone started crying, like that was the thing that the group needed to like open up Wow.
Speaker 2:And I, literally in my head, i was like fucking Mandy, she's not here, so I have to be the crier.
Speaker 1:I am so proud of you, my child.
Speaker 2:To have a cancer around.
Speaker 1:cry, Listen it is like heavy is the head that wears the crown. Bitch Dude, that's so cool. I love that you waited to tell me this like on the podcast, because this is exactly the stuff that we like. If you ever wanted to know what Rachel like what, what we talk about, like on the phone or just like this, is it where we just like tell each other stuff and we both go What? Yeah?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was ridiculous and like and and really, and so when, when I thought about I wasn't even thinking about that, but when I went to like write down some things to myself, like letter to me in 2023. The first thing was rest, be quiet, say no, like that was what. That was the first thing. That kind of popped up. So that kind of like kicked off some other things. I know I think we're going to maybe share our words next time around, our words for 2023. That just kind of kicked off the whole theme where I really want to make sure that I especially I know I'm not going to travel as much next year which is a good thing for me, but only really making sure I know that I'm attracting and everything in my life.
Speaker 2:I called here like I brought in. So if there's something I don't like, if there's something I don't want to do, if there's a person in my life I don't like, like that's on me, sometimes I feel like I don't take ownership of it or I'm like how did this happen? This is outrageous. It was me all along. It's me.
Speaker 1:The problem is me.
Speaker 2:It was a Taylor Swift there, Jesse.
Speaker 1:It's true. We always say that, though, listen, i'm not going to lie. I kind of struggled with writing my letter to. I think it maybe was because I really went hard with writing a letter to my January 2022 self And you know, as cancers do, i got stuck in retrospect. You know, your girl gets real uh with the French call dramatic Uh in my feelings, if you will So, and I didn't realize that I have like 11 end of the year rituals.
Speaker 1:Really Like we take this very seriously And it's because we like you just hit it on the head Like my kind of revelation this week was kind of in review, of like like we spent that last week being in review so we could write that letter. And then, you know, i made my playlist and I've been doing all my like end of year wrap up ritual things And it's just had me sort of like kind of going back and like re-experiencing all all the things that happened this year And we like we talked about last week how it was kind of like overwhelming to be like, oh my gosh, i kind of forgot This, this, this happened this year. And then, you know, as with anything that we go through, you have like a first reaction that's usually like in the ego and super visceral and like whether it's good or bad. You know, your first reaction is usually just like kind of over the top and unchecked And then usually you settle into a settle. A second reaction that's a little bit more like for public consumption, right, and I feel like all the like reflection kind of had me just really marinating and a lot of the stuff And it took me. It took me some time. It took me probably the past couple of days.
Speaker 1:I started really feeling better and started getting some clarity around that stuff, instead of feeling like sorry for myself, which I was doing, like we're spilling our guts. I can't like bullshit, like weird, we talk real here. So it's true Like this has been a really hard year And at the beginning of this year, when I was like getting ready for my surgery and I thought, oh my, this is just going to change my whole life, i'm going to be the fittest I've ever been. I'm just going to destroy everyone in the gym, knock over everyone's dumbbells with my feet, i'm going to shit on everyone And just like I had all these just like huge plans for my year And it just didn't effing go the way that I thought, but like in reflection, underneath it all it did, it really, really did, and I shared last time that my word for last year, and we're going to share our words next week, right For 2023.
Speaker 2:Okay, We can share it, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Well, my word for last year was um elevate, and I just like have had such bitterness around that Cause. I'm like I didn't elevate shit, you know.
Speaker 1:But then I had my whole, like you know, Aladdin revelation that I shared with you guys And and I just I've been getting more and more of that, like more and more like affirmation and clarity around, like, listen, some of the things that had to get like weighted with an anchor all the way down to the bottom of the ocean floor, like a corpse had to go, and the only way that I could like rise up from that was to like really put a whole bunch of things to death, and I feel like that's what I spent this year doing, to sort of end here, you know, in this space, and that feels really good, you know it's so great I was a second.
Speaker 2:So after I like have my little list, i had rest, but the second thing I have on there is have my fucking knee surgery.
Speaker 3:Ooh. And good you know what?
Speaker 2:I caught myself, though, because I wanted to write, then become a monster, and I was like you know, because now I'm right back to being somebody.
Speaker 1:You know, there it is.
Speaker 2:There it is, i'm right back. But like I have this joint disease, i've been putting off the surgery for forever and ever. And if I really do want, like, and there's time to rest, it'll be okay. But, like, my ego is really well and that's just it.
Speaker 1:Well, and I'm so glad you shared that, because people need to hear that. Because you are a monster Like you, people, like people look up to you and they're like that's it, that's the, that's the goal. And so to hear you like say that and be real is so powerful and good, because that's the. That's the problem. I kind of got myself into right Last year when I was like, oh, elevate, it's time to live up And it was like good intentioned, right, like listen, we I do not, i'm not talking shit about anybody who truly wants to be someone in the world.
Speaker 1:It's not that like we're not telling you guys like everybody should just be like mediocre and just like be a bum, you know, and just like you know, like that's not it, it's just, i guess it's more. And my beef my beef, with my word, elevate was was because it was me all year still trying to prove to this like someone out there, like and I mean I could list off several hundred people probably that I'm trying to prove myself to right If I'm being honest, and each time I would put effort in the in, into that. I feel like it was taken away to specifically show me like underneath that, like the pursuit of that was not authentic.
Speaker 2:The pursuit of like all these things I was trying to do was was underneath it all was to keep proving that I was someone And it's you, and I popped off about this the last couple of days because, like I'm very I've said this a lot this year but I really and I'm doing better. It's moving slower than I thought it would Like. I have a lot less self-control than I anticipated, but like I really want to make sure next year that I am very mindful about what I consume and what I post and what I share, and because not everyone like deserves access.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and not everyone can get intimacy, but, like old Rachel was just like, here we go, you get it, you get it, you get it. And that's how I ended up getting into so much trouble. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's and that's. That's what we're talking about, right? If we're talking about self-love, self-care, these spiritual you know journeys, and proud, and what is real success, right? Like, like at the end of my conversation with Marcy, i was like okay, so if I take away this whole personality, i've constructed the one thing I have that I have to lean on. Well then, what am I? What is that? What is that If I, if I'm, if I'm killing myself to get this certification or prove myself over here and make this amount of money so that I can be like, yeah, i did it, I did that, see, to whom It really doesn't matter, really, cause, at the end of the day, it's like you don't know when your time is up.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. And so then the real pursuits, the like laying in the sun with your dog, who's your soulmate, who you don't know how long you have with them, that's success, dude, that's like the juice, but that is. That is like in this world we live in, all that stuff is, like you know, dismissed, but that's the real stuff, you know, and that's what like when I think about this coming year, like that's what I really want to focus on.
Speaker 2:I want to shrink, i want to continue to like audit my circle and keep it small And don't be afraid. We have we talk about this a lot to like let things end and let things go and really make sure that I'm only focused because of our whatever we want to call it intensity or intimacy is so fucking strong and overwhelming, at least for me personally. I really just want to like give it to things and people and places that I care about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Yeah totally, instead of just everybody gets it. Because, honestly, when we do that too, i think we actually like take people's opportunity way to do it for themselves, like especially because you know we're in service of people, we want people to show up healthy and happy, and like that's just not our job. Like I want to be it's going to be hard for me, but I want to be like. I want to shut up more, i want to listen more and speak less.
Speaker 1:Dude, i same, and actually podcast, i mean obvi, but I feel like I feel like the, the but okay, so okay, we're having this is an organic thing. I feel like something is happening here because, actually, if we are truly, if I intention is truly to be in service in that way and to lead, the only way we can do that is by example, with our own lives. That's it. There's no course to write, there's no. We create and lead retreats and help, but there's really no retreat to attend.
Speaker 1:You know every that's all helpful, right, but the truth is, the only way to impact and really, really show up is to do this work in our life. That's it. That is the. The message of elevate right For me this year is like releasing the idea of what it looked like to like rise up to this level and lead, and blah, blah, blah. And I thought it looked like this, because this is how we measure success And this is how we measure influence, and I want to be somebody, right, but actually the only way to be somebody is to become nobody, because we're we're all the same.
Speaker 2:I don't, that was like I don't think I could have put it any better because we were literally like oh, mandy and I are also like big Game of Thrones fans And we're talking about the character of Arias Stark And if you've seen the show, like her, her thing is she becomes no one not seen. The dead girl has no name And I was like bam, that sounds good right now. She had it Like she knows what's going on. Yeah, she ended up fucking saving the whole world doing that shit. Being no one Yes.
Speaker 1:And had a member and her character had access to, like, all the faces. Yes, and I'm like, dude, that's, that's a deep dude Cause, don't we right? Don't we have access to the many faces that we wear in all the spaces? but none of that is real. All that's real is the way you're showing up with yourself and and that energy and it's like, oh so I'm grateful, even though I've been moaned and we've literally documented on this podcast my pity party since July, but I've, i'm now seeing like, wow, like I have just been, i felt like I was given no breaks.
Speaker 1:Dude, like can't like family, uh, friends that you thought were ride or die forever, not gotta go, habits that were, oh, harmless, it's fine, nope, you're done with that. Uh, you know career paths that you just were sure you were born for. Now gotta go. You get, you get the Falcon. You know that's what you get And you know what, honestly and as hard as I've been holding onto all of that because my fear is becoming no one, then I'm a nothing person, right, i'm just a peasant Just out here trying to pay my bills.
Speaker 1:That's how I was seeing it and really, truly, i am free Because all of the actual things that have lasted throughout this year of it all being burned down are the most precious and best things. I only have the best people in my life. My husband is the absolute goat. We've never in a year of, honestly, death and destruction and what else can happen to also simultaneously have the best year of my entire marriage. Do you know what I mean? I've just never experienced the connection and love that we have. It's just that is at a different level.
Speaker 2:You know, what I mean It's just like so what do you give up? That's so interesting too with all that. It's just so fascinating to me with all that death. Love always comes around. You know what I mean? It's just like it fills, it swoops you up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because that's all that's left, that's it. So it's like so I did struggle, because where do you go from there? So I feel like, like you said, you're gonna rest, you're gonna try to stay quiet, try to listen more. I think for me, i would totally echo those things too, because that totally resonates with me And I think it's because we are kind of on this different path of leadership that we weren't prepared for And we're just learning as we go, right.
Speaker 1:But I think that for me, i would also include, like speaking up, like saying no, like, i think, realizing that some of those things that I thought were being like taken from me, like you know, were actually, like, not things I wanted, right, it was things that I thought I should be doing, because it's like what other people think I would be good at or should be doing, or different projects and different, you know, things that I was lending my own energy and passion to Like nobody really asked me. It wasn't really, it wasn't my thing, right, i was not doing it for me. I was like you know what I mean. So I think that I mean some might call it a villain era, i don't know, but I'm feeling like it's it's going to be real, real selfish, and I'm learning that that's okay.
Speaker 2:So Yeah, i'm too. I just I don't want to. I feel like my, especially in the last year. I let my emotions run the show And because, even though it's more like chaotic, it's like easier than like saying no, you know what I mean. It's easier than the unknown of like standing up for myself and saying something or like or not saying something. you know like that's hard for me too. No, no, being the eight that I am, but like really just learning how to be quiet and observe and detach, and really I can. because actually Shaman Larry said we were chit chat, like we were just having like a side conversation, and he was like you know, like someone who lets emotions runs the show, like doesn't have a whole lot of clarity or time for anything else, like you can't see beyond that. And he was like and there's a whole nother world out here.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:And I was like Shaman Larry, can you adopt me?
Speaker 1:That's so good, that's so good, that's so true, though, right, cause it's so loud, it's too noisy, it's so, and that's what makes it feel grueling and hard, and that's why, like, spiritual hygiene and discipline is important. The quiet time, the journaling, the music, the whatever that is for you, that feels your soul Like, that's why it's important, right, it's not just cause we're checking off, like good habit lists, right, and I think that's the trap that some people get into around the new year, which we're going to talk about next week. It's like we put all this pressure on ourselves to like become a brand new person with like new patterns and behaviors in like 24 hours, and then we get super bummed out that we can't do that And then you know it becomes the joke of like the new year fail. But we're going to talk about that next week because it doesn't have to be like that, and I think that even a sharing how this year went for us is proof of that Because, member, last year we started with that 40 40 challenge.
Speaker 2:Yes, and we were trying to start these habits honestly, yeah.
Speaker 1:And we're still, we're still working on it. but that's fine, Still working on it.
Speaker 2:But you know what I was thinking when I kind of wrote this out. I was like shit, the stuff on here is going to require like spiritual discipline, cause there's no way I can get quiet without it. No way I'll have to do it. If these are my actual things that I want, like I'm gonna have to do the work.
Speaker 1:Well, and here's the thing, i'm just realizing this in real time, so bear with me as I try to spit this out, but it's like, be careful what you ask for, cause you just might get it right. Yeah, be real careful. So, if you like, for example, if you ask, if you say, okay, this is my year to elevate, and you have no idea, like, what avenues the universe is gonna take to like have you do that? Because I can understand what elevate means to me and my small minded thinking and like thinking I was gonna, like you know, dominate, be like super cool, become a really cool influencer with lots of content and become super powerful and, you know, super buff. And none of that happened, Cause that was my idea. But the universe, like infinite divine source, you know, says okay, man, do you wanna elevate? This is what is required, right? So you're saying you wanna get quiet? You better be in that spiritual practice, otherwise it will be done for you. Let my crash and burn your BLS to everyone.
Speaker 1:Look out eat your fall. Yeah, surrender. You don't have to literally fight and fight it all year long and be miserable.
Speaker 2:The universe is listening. And it is kind of a baddie I have a question.
Speaker 1:I, jesse you're kind of quiet over there I know that you have prepared a word for 2023 to share with us next week.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Let's share words now. Do you want to? Yeah, and then we'll talk about it next week. We'll end here and then we'll talk about it.
Speaker 1:Well, i just before you say that. then, since we're gonna share the word, i wanted to ask you like do you have any cause you have to sit here and listen to us all the time?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm absorbing.
Speaker 1:How? how do you feel your 2022 went?
Speaker 3:Oh man, you're just gonna throw this question at me right now.
Speaker 1:I mean a little, you know like. I mean I mean you. I mean you sit in your, you're listening to us, you're watching me freak out and sweat over here. Well because I'm I'd love some mail feedback.
Speaker 3:Well, here's the thing. I'm the guy behind the scenes that acts super cool and looks like I think you think nothing bothers me, but I have been able to relate to you through all these episodes. I just don't speak it out loud, oh brethren. So if I'm gonna lead this into my word that I have to pronounce, on the show we'd like you to share your word. So my word is simple, okay.
Speaker 1:Oh my.
Speaker 3:God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I felt that.
Speaker 3:One of the things that I've said my whole life that I feel like I've gotten away with, specifically in the last four months of starting this new business endeavor. I always like to say keep it simple, stupid. So next year I need to put simple on a shirt and make sure that I'm reiterating that that things aren't as complicated as they have to be. You don't have to be perfectionist, yeah, so Oh, my God, You guys run with that.
Speaker 1:That's so. thank you so much for sharing that and being vulnerable and willing to put it out there.
Speaker 3:Cause now you don't have to fuck that bud Cause.
Speaker 1:Now we're gonna hold you accountable to that Cause. That's, i could see how that would be a struggle for you, because, jesse, i'm an ace Definitely cares about the details, and so that will be simplicity, will be Simplicity, will be a will be freedom for you.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, just let it go. Just let it go. It doesn't have to be exactly right, it grinds my gears. Just saying it right now, i can see it.
Speaker 1:I love it. Okay, all right, okay, so we were like kids before Christmas We couldn't wait. Thank you.
Speaker 2:I know, rachel, do you want to?
Speaker 1:share yours. You want me to share mine? You can go, you can go. Okay. So my word, i did not. I feel I want to say see, here I go again, beat a brat. I feel like this word was given to me. I did not choose this word, but once it was like obvious to me and I and I acknowledged that I received the message It's like okay now, now I have to. So and you guys are going to laugh because of the theme of this and everybody who's listened along but my word for 2023 is faith. So it will be kind of circling back to my you know my origin story and making peace with that, because I feel like I've been on a full circle journey from that space. So that's my word.
Speaker 2:I'm just like imagining what the universe is going to give you over this word I know.
Speaker 1:that's why I was like kind of pissed about it. I was like no, please no.
Speaker 3:Here we go again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah And but because I'm so triggered by it and because I have like a weird relationship around that who I'm even feeling emotional talking about it, like because it means something to me right now. So it'll be interesting when we chat next year at this time, hopefully, if you guys still are my friends.
Speaker 2:We'll be the number one spot of time. If only we wanted to be somebody. If only we wanted to be somebody, if only Dang it.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's mine. No small feet right? Simple faith and rage Hit us with it.
Speaker 2:My. here comes the long Minnesota vowel. I have trouble saying this word, but Mine is magnet magnet, magnet, okay, okay, that I feel that's powerful.
Speaker 1:Explain that to me.
Speaker 2:So it kind of that's kind of how like I kicked off this little letter to myself is I have seen this happen in a and just a couple, And I'm sure it's happened before. Like if I look back historically I know for sure it's been happening, but there's been some. I've had some really fucking cool things happen to me this year that I definitely thought about, envisioned, had very clear, focused, like outcome and got really clear about that. Like it wasn't just like I want to win a strong man. I was like no, like this is like You knew it, Very clear vision about it. Or even the person that I'm dating, I feel like was a mirror, like a very much called this.
Speaker 2:I got very clear on what I wanted, yes, like after being very unclear, but like for my whole life, but like there were just. There's just been some things that have happened this year where I was like, holy shit, i have dreamt, thought, wrote, envisioned, played this moment person thing out for ever and ever, and now it's here, wow. And so for me, like visual, even visualizing myself as a giant, it's really helpful to me because then anything that comes near any opportunity, any person, whatever, i have to either like, let it come or reject it, but I have to be very like, very cut from. It's like you're clammy?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you are. you are assuming authority over your life.
Speaker 2:It's pretty uncomfortable. I'll tell you that right now I love that.
Speaker 1:That's the no And I feel, yes, yes, dude, that's super. I'm excited to see what happens. So we'll see, because really, it forces you to like. If you're going to own that right And you are aware that you are this powerful creator that can like, create these experiences and these very like almost what is the word I want Like fine-tuned things that you want in your life, then you also have to take responsibility for the things that maybe you don't like.
Speaker 2:And really putting in, because sometimes I'll be like, oh, I really want that, but then put in like no effort Do you know what I mean? Or like, or just say it and like hope it comes around, And like that's not necessarily like manifesting. So it was also like being really committed to my own vision And I saw and it happened in a couple of really powerful ways this year I was like oh, this is fun, I like this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, that's so cool. Oh my gosh, I'm exhausted. No, I started sweating. We, yeah, we got real. we went zero to a hundred. Well, thank you, Thank you for make, for pushing me out of my comfort zone and making me spill my guts about these things.
Speaker 2:Here's to the end of the year.
Speaker 1:Can you believe it? We're, we got one more episode. All you friends and fans out there And we listen. We always tell you, guys, and we really effin mean it. We want to hear from you, if you are, if you've joined us, in writing yourself a letter your your January 2022 self or your you know 2023 future self. We'd love to hear it. You don't have to share your letter with us, but you could share, like, maybe, some takeaways from the process, but we would also really love to hear your words, your 2023 words. It's super powerful. I can't believe how, each year, it becomes more and more of a thing.
Speaker 2:Yes, Yes, so choose wisely. Yeah, be careful, look out. That's what I can say Like ah, i just see you as like a big old magnet, just I.
Speaker 1:That's how.
Speaker 2:I'm literally picturing myself Like if something's here, like I did this.
Speaker 1:And for me, I just see myself like jumping out of a plane with no parachute. Like well, Bye.