In this podcast episode, Rachel and Mandi strive to balance the darkness of winter with kindness, confronting their own loud and wrong views in order to manifest a new reality of hope.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. What did Gandhi actually mean when he said, "Be the change you want to see in the world"?
2. How can the Spring Equinox and the New Moon help us to find balance in our lives?
3. How can we use our own bodies to create a better world?
Connect with us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/spillyourguts_podcast_
Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/spill-your-guts-with-rachel-and-mandi/id1634212981
Other episodes you'll enjoy:
https://sites.libsyn.com/422852/18-reluctant-pilgrims-standing-out-as-individuals
https://sites.libsyn.com/422852/17-tbd
https://sites.libsyn.com/422852/16-back-for-2023
Want a podcast like the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast? Look no further! I'm Jpaddy from Paddybandwagon.com, your podcasting partner. DM or comment "blessed" on our Instagram @paddybandwagon, and you'll unlock a special offer exclusively for fans of the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast. Together, we'll embark on a podcasting journey that will captivate and engage your listeners. Visit Paddybandwagon.com and let's make your podcast dreams a reality.
In this podcast episode, Rachel and Mandi strive to balance the darkness of winter with kindness, confronting their own loud and wrong views in order to manifest a new reality of hope.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. What did Gandhi actually mean when he said, "Be the change you want to see in the world"?
2. How can the Spring Equinox and the New Moon help us to find balance in our lives?
3. How can we use our own bodies to create a better world?
Connect with us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/spillyourguts_podcast_
Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/spill-your-guts-with-rachel-and-mandi/id1634212981
Other episodes you'll enjoy:
https://sites.libsyn.com/422852/18-reluctant-pilgrims-standing-out-as-individuals
https://sites.libsyn.com/422852/17-tbd
https://sites.libsyn.com/422852/16-back-for-2023
Want a podcast like the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast? Look no further! I'm Jpaddy from Paddybandwagon.com, your podcasting partner. DM or comment "blessed" on our Instagram @paddybandwagon, and you'll unlock a special offer exclusively for fans of the "Spill Your Guts w/Rachel and Mandi" Podcast. Together, we'll embark on a podcasting journey that will captivate and engage your listeners. Visit Paddybandwagon.com and let's make your podcast dreams a reality.
Yo, yo, yo, yo yo spill your guts podcast. Listen to those familiar beats. Rachel just laughs at me every time. I really do. I love that, jangle. Oh My gosh. Welcome back you guys to another episode. What episode number is this, jesse? You know, i never know.
Speaker 2:19 yeah, we'll go with that. Okay, 18, just in case we're wrong.
Speaker 1:All right, so we're, we're an adult. We're, our podcast is now an adult. Well, the new movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what threw me off, but we're gonna talk about that a little bit later.
Speaker 1:Jesse, look at you. You're so knowledgeable and learn it about the moon. You must be hanging out with spiritual bitches.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:My god, rachel Don, look at your beautiful face. You angel, you cherub, you Freakin, beautiful human being.
Speaker 3:Hey, look at listen, spring has sprung. Fine Freaking out about Last year Seasonal depression.
Speaker 1:Listen, you're not lying It. I don't know when we're gonna have this episode air, but as we're sitting here, we it is the first official week of spring. We just crossed the spring equinox threshold on Monday and, bitch, i am feeling it.
Speaker 3:I am too physically.
Speaker 1:I mean, i felt like new, brand new this week.
Speaker 3:I thought it was a full moon and that's why I looked up like what is going on, and it was like, oh, it's spring equinox. I was like, oh, thank God.
Speaker 1:Not even just a spring equinox, but back to back with the, the new moon that we just had the next day, which was like a big deal. One And the other like and of course this is not my, i'm not an astrological Like official person, so anybody out there please forgive me and correct me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we also will have. We'll end up having two New moons in the sign of Aries because we will have another new moon at the end of April, which will still be in Aries season, and that's very significant. So we'll have, like, and a new moon for those of you guys who are woo-woo with us is, you know, signifies Yeah, newness, right, it's a new. It's like kind of the etch, a sketch shake. Each month we get right, if you're following along with lunar cycles and energy and stuff. It's kind of like your new year of your month and the spring equinox actually, which happens every year, i think on the same day, march 20th I think it's the same day every year. That is is truly the zodiac Astrological New Year. So we've literally just had our official, like energetic New Year. So happy New Year's guys. I'm feeling it, jesse's feeling it.
Speaker 2:I'm hearing it from all angles.
Speaker 1:So that I mean, and you can feel that energy, like you know, kind of like For whatever it's worth, right, give or take, whatever you know you want to believe in all that. But I feel that energy, it feels really good, it feels like you know. You know, like you you said, some of that heaviness of winter has just kind of like lifted a little bit and starting to feel hopeful and Those extra hours of sunshine are.
Speaker 3:I didn't know that they were impacting me so much, dude, i was sudden, i was like I literally because I like usually like getting bad and like Face time poop see, and I was like, i was so confused I'm like why is it still lie down? I was like is this the pop water? What is this?
Speaker 1:He's like no, it's spring. Well, it's cool too, because I just learned that the Equinox, which happens in March, and then there's the other one that happens in September, right, it happens twice a year across the globe and it is literally Signifies when the light and dark are balanced on earth. It's only those two days Where it happens all year long, where there's Equally the same amount of light as there is darkness on those two days, and so it truly yeah, it truly is like a recalibration for the planet, right, and the seasons and everything. But for us personally too, i feel like that's why it feels just like, oh, so good, because you're just you're coming back into balance, right. And if you want to get into the woo-woo of things, right, like winter time truly is supposed to be that time where we reflect and we Hibernate and we rest and we do all those things. It kind of sucks because we also have to go to work and pretend like we're not doing that in our hearts, which is why you were depressed and we feel like everything's dying.
Speaker 1:Including ourselves, yeah so if we got a little dark out there for a few weeks, we want to go in the toilet. Guys Got a little dicey for a few minutes there, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:So much to talk about, though. Okay, so before we start going off on a rant about all the things in the world, and holding Jesse hostage for three hours.
Speaker 1:I Thought it would be really important to share our first ever, really super special and thoughtful Listener email. We received a couple weeks ago about Our first ever Super special and thoughtful Listener email. We received a couple weeks ago about The episode number 17, where I shared about what happened across the street from my house And we got we were still in the dark winter, okay, everyone, so you were, we were deep in it, we were like at the very bottom.
Speaker 3:That's where we had to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we could see the sunlight exactly and, and lucky for us, our listeners Resonate and are also in the dark winter with us when we're in it, and so this, this email, really Was impactful for me to read, so I thought it would be really cool to share this on our podcast. So let me share real quick And then we'll talk about it. And says good morning, mandy and Rachel and Jesse. Thank you so much for putting it all out there on the spill your guts podcast. I am a faithful listener and today's episode, number 17, struck a chord with me. First off, mandy, i'm so sorry that you and your family had, in our continuing experience, craziness and anxiety. You and your family had, in our continuing experience, craziness and violence in your neighborhood. You talked a lot about life and all that is currently happening day to day.
Speaker 1:As you may know, i currently work for law enforcement Agency in a city that is considered one of the most dangerous in the nation. Although I am not a law enforcement officer, i work with hundreds of officers and support staff that are amazing and work in very tough conditions. I work with the public every day, who are sometimes having the worst days of their lives. Let's just say they are not happy to see me or having to have to talk to me. You also, at the end of last season, encouraged all of us to choose a word for 2023.
Speaker 1:I chose kindness. Why? Because this is my 11th year working for a law enforcement agency. Every day I see the worst life has to throw at people. I hear radio calls. I worry about my co-workers when they are on dangerous calls. I read reports of things you cannot make up and your mind cannot even comprehend that are actually happening out in our city. The public I work with daily are upset and they are hurting and they take that pain out on me and my co-workers on this side of the glass.
Speaker 1:On a daily basis, i am yelled at, spit, at, cursed, up one side and down the other. My character, my physical build and appearance and all that makes me up get assaulted on a daily basis. I have found that over the years, this job can and will eat you up physically, mentally and emotionally if you let it, and it can and did affect how I treated those on the other side of that window. So I chose kindness for this year. Every day before I start my shift, i remind myself to be kind to those who come across my path. Someone even just happened to give me a little interchangeable sign for my desk that says quote stay humble, work hard and be kind. So there it sits, staring at me.
Speaker 1:Daily I try to be kind and compassionate when dealing with a family member whose loved one was killed in traffic. No matter how they attack me, i can still be kind. I'm doing the work. It is difficult. My flesh wants to fire back when verbally attacked. Talk about having discipline And I'm not even on the streets having to deal with folks face to face. The six inches of bullet proof glass give me a sense of safety. It may stop physical bullets, but the verbal assaults coming my way are terrible sometimes. But in spite of it all, i can still be kind.
Speaker 1:I loved your portion when you guys talked about your quote loud and wrong phase I found. At almost 60 years old I can still be loud and wrong when I lose it at work and when I'm not kind. Then comes the guilt, and if the customer has to come back for whatever reason, i am often afforded the opportunity to apologize and go on from that point. So why, at 60 years old, do I care if someone attacks my gender, my color, my weight, my hair or my job? The discipline for me is to watch my words and be kind, ladies, keep on talking, keep on processing and keep on being real Love to you both.
Speaker 3:I'm getting emotional because this person especially the loud and wrong in kindness themes when we were coming out of 2020 and we were rolling back into like retreats and she attended one, and when you told me that she like worked with police, i like I had a visceral reaction right. Because I had a lot of beef and all sorts of stuff stored up coming out of 2020.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:And that I had not worked through And I was already had like a chip on my shoulder about it, and so, coming in, even though I knew, like you don't associate with people that I like there's no one that you are friends with, that I don't like you know what I mean. So I could have made all these other assumptions right, and after hearing her point of view, i was just like, oh, i've been so loud and wrong, so loud and wrong Like I even just got goosebumps talking about it Because she, i wasn't, i didn't have empathy, i wasn't looking at anything from the from a different point of view. I wasn't choosing kindness for sure, and that was kind of like a big push in the healing direction.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Around that, and so, just when this email, i was just like it was just a reminder. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, because it doesn't change necessarily some of the things that you know. I know that you and I both very strongly believe, right, it doesn't change Some of those things that would have caused you, you know, a little further back, you know, before all the healing you've done, to like kind of hang on to some, like you know, judgments or whatever that would keep you safe from you know a conversation or having to interact with somebody that would you know. but wow, to get that perspective and and have it come in so gently and differently than you'd expect, right, is just how you'd hope somebody from, like, the other side would be willing to approach some of the things that we feel so strongly about.
Speaker 1:Do you know what I mean And so I totally hear you and I just I'm so grateful because it's it's kind of cool, especially sometimes. Look, when we get on here and we talk about stuff and we like literally spill our guts. It's easy to, on my drive home, be like what the hell? What did I say That's gonna be on the internet? I do, i do you guys already know me I do a full spin of like regret.
Speaker 1:I try to like tell Jesse every week to edit everything I've said and he just will not, because I go into like that whole weird, you know, cringe of self because what we're talking about is real, like we're not. This isn't and this isn't like a plug or anything, this is just the truth. Like we're not scripted. We oftentimes are kind of might know what we want to talk about, but really we're just on here sharing our journey with you guys. That's really what we're doing. And so for me to have been able to share all that stuff and have it like really reach people, to get this like come back to us in this way, it feels like in a little teeny, tiny way, we're able to contribute to like the healing around some of these events. You know, not that we can. I don't want to be cliche and be like oh, cliche, cheesy thing where you know, you know something really terrible and horrible happens and you're like, oh, miss me a plan. Yeah, it's not that.
Speaker 1:But like in these ways, in these really small ways, when we show up and we can talk about these things and like show courage to, like you know, say the hard stuff and pull it out, like pull it out of the dark corners into the light, right, and if everybody does that, it's like that's how change happens, that's how healing happens, That's how, that's how we change the world. That's like new earth, shit. You know what I'm saying. And it's like in this woo woo space, when everybody's talking about, like you know, ascension and all the buzz words, right, like these are the actual tangible things, when people are showing up and like doing these things and talking about these things. In fact, i want to share a quote. Often Gandhi gets quoted with saying be the change you want to see in the world, right? Did you guys know that? that's not actually what he said?
Speaker 2:I did not know that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, So I learned that this last weekend. I want to read to the actual quote for from which that sentiment was taken from, And I don't know that maybe he didn't say those exact words later on somewhere, or if they were paraphrased into saying be the change you want to see in the world. But this is the actual direct quote. He says we but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change toward him. This is the divine mystery supreme, a wonderful thing it is, and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.
Speaker 2:This should be a sound effect, if I could add it in right now. Thank you, rachel.
Speaker 1:Did you guys hear that? Yeah, i might even have to read it again, to be honest.
Speaker 3:Do you guys mind I'm going to read it one more time.
Speaker 1:I really and everybody listening along with us, really kind of. If you're driving right now, obviously don't, but like, really kind of I want you to really listen to this.
Speaker 2:Don't close your eyes and listen to this.
Speaker 1:Yes, if you're driving, thank you disclaimer, but truly, i really want you to hear this. It's just like, impacted me so much I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It says we but mirror the world Like our lives, our existence. We're mirroring the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change toward him. This is the divine mystery supreme, a wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do. An absolute mic drop. It absolutely changes everything.
Speaker 1:Now does the premise of the quote say basically be the change you want to see? Absolutely, because you know if you can change and show up the way that you hope everyone else will right that's a drop in the bucket And that's kind of the way that quote is used. But when you're reading the actual context, the actual quote of what he's saying, it's so much more than that. We but mirror the world like, really, truly. If all this is true right, where it's either true or we're mentally ill then we really are creating our reality And our world is just mirroring back to us the tendencies that are present in our own bodies. Hello, do you guys hear that?
Speaker 2:Oh, i feel it, mm hmm.
Speaker 1:So sickness, right, anxiety, depression, worry, betrayal, all those things that we feel within the universe of our own bodies, if our own bodies are our own universe, with these trillions and trillions of cells, and you know I get like my mind can't even wrap around it right Yeah So what's happening?
Speaker 3:Our bodies really do mirror the universe, even biologically, right. Like we've talked about that before, like I just it still blows my mind that we came from an explosion in in space right so many years ago and then ended up here, And even the chances of us, like being in this state and conscious and and it's kind of kind of reminds me of when I had my little Moses moment, which is, oh my God, I forgot. We need to know.
Speaker 1:I wanted to set you up actually to talk about that. But really quick, before you do, i want to share. So I learned I heard this quote. I was at a little local retreat this weekend. I got some so many good nuggets And that quote was was one that that I literally have like wrote down and I've been thinking about for three days.
Speaker 1:But another one of the teachers was talking about. She was talking about nutrition, right, and kind of changing your mind about the way you show up for meals and the way you think about food, which is, you know, cool. I love, i love any of that conversation making peace with food, making peace with your body, blah, blah. But she went through this whole exercise of like how to be mindful and you hear that a lot like, especially Rachel, like we hear that a lot in the fitness wellness space like, oh, be mindful with what you're eating, and like you know I'm such a dick I'm sorry And it's true, right, but I've never heard anybody explain it this way And she was talking about how, like you know, before you take your last bite of something, to really sit with it and look at what you're eating.
Speaker 1:And we did this as we were eating lunch at this retreat And I had a little bite of salad left on my plate right.
Speaker 1:And so she kind of starts leading this visualization of imagining how all of those little elements got to be right there on my plate as this, like last bite right, and it's like this little piece of lettuce and this little piece of cheese, and she goes into this whole just like eloquent, beautiful sort of poem almost, of like the molecules that had to be, you know, collected in a certain way, the weather that had to happen, the animals and plants and seasons that have had to birth and die and decompose and birth again to you know, and the condensation of the rain, and I mean all the things that have like like literally broke it down into the how.
Speaker 1:The molecules, right, because if energy cannot be created or destroyed, this little piece of salad that I'm eating has been here before in some other form, in some other way. And here I am with it flippantly on my plate, not giving it any thought that this, these molecules, have come together to give my body nutrients and only stay with me for but a moment and become molecules within my universe of my body. And then she goes on further to explain that, like You know, all the molecules that are on the surface of our skin are the most like I don't know transient, and so literally, when you hug someone, you're leaving, you're exchanging molecules and everything's just this big mish-mash. Like I am that I am Right, listen maybe we're not okay, just kidding.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, no, i think we are okay, i think that we truly are. In fact, i had an epiphany and this, maybe I'm not, maybe I'm just getting real con. Yeah, you're just, but I just really, i mean, that just impacted me so much. And then you pair it with that Gandhi quote And I'm just like wow, you really cannot lead further than you've gone. Like all there really is is what you are creating and what you're doing within your own universe of your own body, and that ultimately affects everyone else, because we all share molecules and we're basically all essentially sharing this same experience, and we get a choice of how we show up for that, and it's beautiful.
Speaker 3:That's like that. Remember when we were freaking out Which time? Okay, so this reminds me. you know I love the Atlantic. We've talked about this before. That's kind of like these beautiful, like a science opinion, poetic articles, if you're on there. I use my dad's subscription, Sorry.
Speaker 1:Thanks, Rick.
Speaker 3:It's like a dollar, but I'm like, no, i'm not going to pay. So there was this amazing article that like caught my eye because, like the like the subtitle was we get to be everything forever when we die, and I was like oh my gosh you.
Speaker 1:that's what I'm saying, that's how I felt when I was eating that last bite of lettuce dude.
Speaker 3:And it went on. It went on about the intersection of, you know, woo and science, and that we are both experimenters and we are also experiencers. And so thinking about how we're connected to the stars And that so, therefore, we've been connected literally to generations of people, past, present and future. So because of that, it ends with like this beautiful line where he's where the writer says I don't believe in miracles, but I do believe in the miraculous. Oh, it's so good, i got a fine and I'll share it.
Speaker 1:It's just like dude. Yes, this is exactly what I'm saying And I think that it kind of blew my mind because you know especially like kind of being in another life, from like church culture And you know you have the practice, the reverent, you know observance, of praying before you eat. That's, you know, supposed to include this kind of like ah and gratitude, right, and I think that, as with everything in life, like when you are, you kind of take things for granted, you know, and you don't think about things like that in that way each time. And it just was so impacted by that Like if you really thought about everything you ate in that way, do you know what I mean? It would just like change is like what you're even hungry for, necessarily.
Speaker 1:Like now I'm thinking like, well, i'm not really interested in eating food that doesn't. It isn't going to feel that way to me. I want like earth, i want dinosaur molecules. Bitch, i'm trying to eat, like you know, the dirt of my ancestors in this bitch. I'm trying to get deep. I don't want cheez-its. You know what I'm saying. Plus, as a sidebar, it kind of sent me down a really weird rabbit hole about parasites. So I'm also kind of bumming out Be careful, be careful, don't go too far.
Speaker 1:Well, i'm kind of bumming out about it. I'm not going to lie, so I'll save that for another time.
Speaker 3:That's so interesting I got into I wasn't going to share this and I don't know why, but now I'm going to. I got into an integrative health coaching program.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're sharing it.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, okay, okay, okay, it's out because I figure our listeners, like I didn't know I'm not sharing it with everyone.
Speaker 1:Well, listen Janet Jackson. If you're listening, just like, don't make a public announcement just yet right.
Speaker 3:President of Amber Crombie.
Speaker 1:Who else has been? Janet Jackson, amber Crombie, who else?
Speaker 2:are we talking about your sponsors?
Speaker 1:Yeah, our legend, who else?
Speaker 2:if, what was the energy drink sales? see us, that's right.
Speaker 1:I Think you're safe. Oh my god, i'm so proud of you for sharing that. I'm very excited for you.
Speaker 3:I'm really excited and I I was going through they get this and our little like curriculum and I was going through kind of like they're the core values of the program and like their major pillars, which is Self-awareness and community. Very interesting start. Like those are the two things that you need to be a human.
Speaker 1:Sounds very aligned to the kind of coach that you are, yep.
Speaker 3:The main part was What did they say? wellness is an active pursuit and Well-being is the state that you finally arrive to like. Now you're in this space of well-being.
Speaker 1:Wellness is the pursuit of well-being.
Speaker 3:Active pursuit and so it talks a lot about like empowering you know, patients during different stages of learning, but a lot of it is simply helping people being completely focused on The present moment and that's it. See, if you can't, if you're so noisy And you can't be here and now, you can't get to be an active participant in your wellness because you're not there.
Speaker 1:Right, oh, but how, how great. Now, look, we haven't gotten to like really chat with each other in like a week or so, so we're doing a little personal catch-up as well. But isn't that crazy how much What both, both things we're experiencing right now are like totally aligned.
Speaker 1:Of course, always all the time well, i, i was so excited In fact I kind of waited until we were gonna record the podcast to share that little nugget with you, because I wanted to share it With our listeners but, more importantly, because it really kind of made that, that theme We've been talking about for the past few weeks, about, like I am, that I am Right and that like bigger You know, like how we're all connected in that whole thing, and I wanted to put you on the spot a little bit and ask if you'd be comfortable Sharing about your experience on the mountain Yes, rachel's experience on the mountain.
Speaker 3:Here's our disclaimer. I feel like Mandy in general, like here's she what we calm downloads, but she hears like messages. I don't. I might like dream about things that happen, or Sometimes I think it's psychic and sometimes I think it's just like I learned to observe behavior so I can predict what's gonna happen. Mm-hmm, so I don't what. What I'm about to tell you is like this does not happen to me, and When it did, it was very alarming for me because I'm not getting talked to all the time.
Speaker 1:Okay, Well, it's questionable what I'm experiencing.
Speaker 3:Like where I lost something, like I've lost a sock, and then I in my dream, my brain, tells me where the sock is, and then I wake up and I find it.
Speaker 1:You are very intuitive. She isn't full of shit, but anyways, continue.
Speaker 3:No, i'm not hearing voices like that, but here we are. So I went on this great hike out in the middle of nowhere, actually fairly close to my house. I was the only one on the trail. It was a beautiful day. It's hiking through the canyon, it's fossil Canyon, so it's also like just an entertaining hike, like you hike along and you see like a shell fossil.
Speaker 1:That's what hiking people always saying Super entertaining, i bet Super short. Hmm, knowing client, yeah, i'm sure. Hmm, famous last words you're saying.
Speaker 3:I So I'm still in the canyon having a great time. I kind of dead ends and I'm on my way back and I'm like you know what this is? no one's out here. I need to just sit and like just take this in for a minute and it was so Quiet like that, almost like a little disturbingly quiet, like no birds, because it's in a canyon to like no wind, no, no rustling, like Completely quiet. So that took me a minute because I was like all right, it's too quiet.
Speaker 1:Felt so exposed.
Speaker 3:Yes, and I don't like sitting and meditating and being quiet, like my meditation is the hike right, but I'm trying new things. Okay, oh, see you. So I'm sitting on this rock and just close my eyes And I'm like, all right, maybe I need like a little prompt, because I don't do well Just trying to think about nothing. So I kind of got like hyper fixated on like the question like why are we here? Like why am I here? Why are we here? Like that's what I was just super casual, you know like If.
Speaker 1:I sit down to meditate like it's not like. Hmm, how does my body feel? or What am I? what's on my mind right now? Rachel goes right for the bulls eye. Why are we here?
Speaker 3:Human beings exist. If I'm gonna sit here and talk to some spirit, oh, i demand to know this demand. So do tell and Listen. It was a beautiful day. And then when I tell you, like I'm telling you this doesn't happen to me. That's why I was freaking out and I almost feel a little uncomfortable sharing it. But like the wind picks up through the canyon like enough where I'd like put my hood up and like hunker down for a minute, because I was like, oh shit, just like all the sudden out of nowhere Yeah, am I? I'm not from here, i don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, wait, i'm gonna pause your story for a second because, okay, miss fucking Minnesota, usa. Yeah, it doesn't feel good when you're not in your native territory and the environment around you is not your common Native environment. I want to remind everybody Listening that this BZ made fun of me because at the point retreat in 2020, they released listen, i'm from Nevada, do you guys understand? I'm from northern Nevada. We have literally forest fires every year. It's just a part of summer. You just like, expect to like, have your eyeballs stung for months because of and these bitches are out here releasing lanterns, just willy-nilly, like, like lanterns on actual fire. Jesse, please connect with me and agree with me as a fellow Nevada. And right now, it was insane. I was literally in peril. I didn't know what to do. These bitches releasing lanterns into the wind, and one of them got stuck in a tree.
Speaker 2:This was in Nevada, No this was in Minnesota at the point of retreat. Oh gotcha.
Speaker 1:I am telling you I started freaking out. I was like, oh my god, how long will it take for paramedics and firemen to get here? I literally was trying to like grab cupfuls of water from the lake to like hoist in the air, and they died laughing at me because I was Certain we had just burnt down the northern forest of Minnesota. And it isn't so funny now is it. Some people would say I was a hero.
Speaker 2:Can't take the desert out of the girl, i guess you let me down in the baddens?
Speaker 1:listen, they were just sitting there casual. I'm like it is still on fire. They're like it'll, it'll blow out everything's wet, i'm like. It's super. I was shook. I thought we were. I was like there it goes, we'll never be invited back. We just burned the place down. So anyway, back to you feeling uncomfortable in the desert with your Minnesota lineage.
Speaker 3:Oh my god. Well, it's like, like I don't. I was like is this a flash flood? What does that even mean? Does it have to be raining, right and then? but me? Meanwhile, i was also still waiting for this answer that I said She's like I demand, and here comes Augusta wind.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, i love this. Okay, all right, moses.
Speaker 3:What happened next? It's just crazy wind and I'm just like hunkered down for a minute and then I hear It's not my own, like cuz. You know, when you talk in your head It's you, you know, you know your voice. Mm-hmm literally said maybe because I was demanding, now that I think about it. Rude, it was. Like it said why are you so obsessed with knowing why you're here? Like why do you care?
Speaker 3:Hmm and if you keep questioning, if you keep questioning your existence Instead of getting to work, we're gonna keep sending you back here. Like it threatened me back, whoa. So I had this moment where I was like It kind of went back to what we talked about. I can't remember, maybe last episode about, like maybe the asking the questions in the journey, but like I Just had a moment where I was like being threatened by the universe Coming back to this dude And it honestly.
Speaker 1:I love that because that's the only answer you would respect.
Speaker 3:Yeah you know I didn't get to work and literally I went home and in my email Do, because I had been put on Duke's wait list for a year and I just like forget it right, right, totally. Hey, your name came up to the top try reapplying. And I was like, well, i don't want to have to keep coming back here, so I might as well apply. And then I Got it.
Speaker 1:So tell me you so on our shared notes, which we talked about on our last episode. So we'll have to end with a couple of our rando ideas, but on our podcast notes, like to your point about, like You know, being on the mountain, having that experience right. And then, since you share, since you shared this right, you put no one talks about the sheer anxiety it takes to go all in on yourself and leave comfort behind. So You said that, like, so you as I'm, like as your friend, in the front row of your life, cheering and eating popcorn loudly, right, i, it's like I get to see you have this like experience right. And then you're moved right into the next few weeks of, like this new thing kind of unfolding on your lap And do you think that experience, you know, realizing that you had to let go, of demanding why you're here, kind of put you in the position To actually get to work and get on this path? like, how do you think that you were connected?
Speaker 3:I think that's exactly it, because in turn I had to go to a lot of other people and projects and things and tell them No and goodbye. Yeah and that was really really hard and super, super scary, mm-hmm, because I feel like I'm about to take like the next big step and I have this idea of what I want it to be. But it's really scary, especially when you're on your own, like financially, like you're just, it's just you right, and so I am someone, unfortunately, who has to put pressure on themselves and And put myself in like no lose scenarios in order to act.
Speaker 3:Some people like just I don't know, do people just not do that, cuz it's like so?
Speaker 1:Who are you talking to? I had to get put in a whole ass factory to surrender. Accept that, like My life was changing directions. They're like oh, you're not gonna listen, cool, we're gonna put you over here. Here's some steel toad boots. We'll see you in about a year.
Speaker 3:And I really and I just like realized this week I was like God, i have, i just feel Ants I didn't know if anxious was the right word, but I felt just so uncomfortable because I started putting things down in paper and committing to them in my mind and like if I I've like said there's like a set, not a small list, but like a little list of things that I've been saying that I was gonna do for a really long time.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm and just unable to act. And now I am and It's the terrifying. And then, when I just said I am, i just had that moment, because when I was in the canyon I fell. I was like I don't think about religion anything, but I was like, oh fuck here.
Speaker 1:Oh man.
Speaker 3:Mandy's story.
Speaker 1:It's all here and spirits yelling at me, Yeah well, maybe that's what you get for yelling at it. No, i love it, i love it, so okay. So now, okay. So for those of us who are Inspired by you going all in on yourself because I can relate to that and there's things that I've had Put on the back burner, you know, and and now that you're even saying that, i feel a little convicted because it's like Were they really put on the back burner Are my finding ways to self sabotage myself, to kind of like maintain some weird semblance of control Right, which I Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So now, on the other side of that big step, right, the big step that we're all afraid to take, that We know we need to, we know that, like the freedom and the, the exciting thing and the dreams are on the other side of the big, scary Step. How do you feel now? Are things falling apart? are all your fears coming true?
Speaker 3:You know, every it just like all sorts of doors and connections and opportunities are opening, and and part of it is because of how I've like Reframed my thinking, like, if I have this vision of where I want to go, it's like what's that thing when you, when you look for white cars, all you see is white cars or whatever it is. Yes yes and so.
Speaker 1:I don't know the actual term, but I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3:Yes, Yeah, i was in like this, this summit, and it was this panel, and there was a doctor on there Just preaching about preventative health and like all that. Like I was just like, yes, this fucking guy gets it. And you had it. You could message him virtually, like through the app, and So I sent him a message. I had all these questions because I really have this idea of how to pay to partner with visions like if the diagnosis is obesity, then part of their wellness plan, their active pursuit, should include a coach and And he was talking about the importance of that, but I didn't.
Speaker 3:Like no one can crack that code. Yeah, so many people have tried to like Partner up and so I messaged him about how would you suggest I go about reaching these physicians and saying, like, refer them out, like, in addition to what you prescribe, let's partner up because, like The health coaching thing puts that it's patient centric, like, no matter what right, what Oh thing is. Gosh, how exciting me back. No way, you must have been like that with all these ideas and how to write a proposal and like all this stuff, and if I wouldn't have taken that, i would have just been like, oh, that was a cool presentation and moved on. So, like, there's just all these little things that are like just now starting to roll in.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, Wands girl.
Speaker 3:Bringing wands to the sword fight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I gave Rachel a little birthday. It was her birthday, i think. Last time we were recorded it was about to be your birthday. Now we're on the other side of your birthday portal. Happy birthday, that's OK. I gave her a little birthday reading And the summary of her reading was she's going to be taking wands to a sword fight. That was what I heard.
Speaker 1:And for those of you guys who remember when I talked about a little breakdown of, like using tarot as a tool, the wand energy really represents like fire energy, which is actually the energy we're in right now. This new moon that Jesse keeps talking about. It's Aries. We're in Aries energy right now, and it's like the astrological new year, right, it starts with fire energy, which is passion, ideas, like literally the spark of something new. That's why spring feels this way. Right, it's literally everything that was dead and buried is now going to start to shoot up from the earth and become the molecules that we interact with, and now we can. It kind of feels like everybody's got a little fire under their ass to get stuff done and get back to work. Right, get back to your passion.
Speaker 1:And I thought it was really cool because in your reading it was all this wands, wands, wands, wands, wands, wands. And then there was one sword right, and the sword in the tarot represents air energy, which is like in your mind, your thoughts, your thought, life, your communication, and sometimes the swords can also represent like obstacles, challenges, and in the position that the sword fell in in her reading, it was like in her physical world. So it kind of represented this new chapter going to school and having to study and like. But here she was, this one sword and it was surrounded by all these wands And I heard you're taking wands to a sword fight and we both almost passed out and died because it was like so good, it was very exciting. I'm so excited and so so proud of you because you are the coach that we need out there. You guys, she's sliding into Drs Diems. That's kind of a big deal. It's a big ass deal. That's kind of a big deal. It's a big deal. I want to wrap this up.
Speaker 3:I just want to come back to this planet.
Speaker 1:She said I ain't coming back, i want to wrap this up, because we got to wrap this up this time. I don't want to hold you guys hostage. We got so much more to talk about next week, so stay tuned. But I will say that for me, the wrap up of this sort of winter, this cold, hard winter I've been in, brought some gifts as well, and I listened to her just passionately talk about molecules and I was all on fire. And then I heard that Gandhi quote and I was like everything's just like making sense to me And I realized, i realized that all these things that have been really hard for me to digest, these things that seem so unfair, so out of balance, all these things I was struggling with the past weeks, months and even years, just as I've been sort of collecting all these little parts of myself and pulling it all back together do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:And examining it and kind of throwing away what's not working anymore and pulling in new things and sort of creating this new mandala of my life, and it looks a lot different than I thought, right, and I realized like the ego, me, the ego, me, the me that gets quickly offended, the me that gets like quickly judgmental.
Speaker 1:The version of me that needs more work is the version of me that forgets I am God. Do you know what I'm saying? And I don't know if that sounds like super, just like very Kanye-ish, you know, but I, that's just what it is, and I don't know what it was. When I received that little download that just kind of like made everything click to me, like the me that feels unqualified, the me that feels like I am not enough to, you know, have anything to say about anything, cause I'm just a, you know, i'm just a dot dot dot is not true? That's that is coming from the version of me that has forgotten that I am, that I am. And if we can just hang onto that bitch, hang onto your asses, hang onto your wands.
Speaker 3:We're gonna need a Hide your kids.
Speaker 1:Hide your wives.
Speaker 2:And before we wrap this up, i do want to thank that audience member for writing that email because that, even though it's just one email, that was an effective I'm just, i'm just so appreciative that they had. They're getting the effect from this podcast that they are And obviously we put in 15, 20 minutes into that conversation and it created so much thought provoking ideas amongst me, amongst Rachel, obviously, amongst yourself, and that's why we're here. So before you wrap it up, i have to thank you, audience member. Yes, i really wanted to talk about a bird feeder in this episode, but I think we're gonna have to kind of wrap it up.
Speaker 1:That's the perfect teaser for next week. You guys, stay tuned, because Rachel has got some gossip about these birds in her window, guys, so let that be a teaser for next week. Thank you for spilling your guts, you guys. Thank you for being you. Thank you for doing this weird thing with me. Thank you, jesse. You're right. The person who wrote that email knows exactly who she is and knows what she means to us, and it is so cool knowing that you guys are out there like fully listening to full episodes.
Speaker 2:And just FYI, rachel and Mandy, do read the emails.
Speaker 1:We do.
Speaker 2:So they are very invested in this process. So do not feel like you cannot write something and it'll be ignored, because hopefully this shows how invested the two people I work with are in this process.
Speaker 1:I got Jesse love with you.
Speaker 2:I'm here for the salesmanship.
Speaker 1:Okay, one, two, three, we out Mic drop. see you next week.